Handy

Straight to the punchline, I lost my hands 11 months ago in a car accident. Ironically, the accident occurred as I was driving home from getting a tattoo on my wrist. I also lost half my ear, but that doesn't matter, it still works. I still haven't mentally recovered, as I keep trying to do things as simple as flip a light switch, use a computer or play piano. A strange experience I have is... I can feel my fingers. It's a strange experience, as I can feel objects with them.

One morning, I woke up to the pain of some sort of laser tearing through the flesh in my fingers. I was in tears, screaming, rubbing my arm nubs with ice, no matter what I did it wouldn't stop. I felt the skin between each finger be cut open and the muscle torn out. The left over remains of my fingers (or what I felt) were now empty sausage skins, which then were filled with something cold and hard, and then sewn shut. I feinted from the pain. When I woke up, I was laying in my bed. Which was strange, as I was in the kitchen when I feigned. I walked into the kitchen, and there was blood all over the handle of the oven. There were bloody hand prints on the floor. I put my nub on my head, and held it in front of my face. It was covered in blood. I ran to the wash room and saw a wide gash on my forehead. I immediately applied bandages to it, which took a while, without hands and all... But I finally did it, and I took some medication. I walked back into my room, and lied in the bed. I felt terrible, so I decided to take a nap.

I had a strange dream... I was in a bright white operating room, with surgeons all around me. They were operating on my arms and my head, while constantly typing on a computer behind them. After a few minutes, I randomly began to scream. I was immediately restrained, and injected with a strange substance, and everything went dark...

I woke up and rubbed my eyes, got up, and tossed the blanket behind the door. Get that shit out of my way. I sat down on the computer, opened the lid and logged on. I opened Steam aaaaannnnnddddd how the fuck am I doing this?

I look down. At my hands. At my tattoo. At my stitches.

Holy fuck? I have hands? I can't crack my knuckles... what's wrong with them? They feel cold and hard, not like real fingers... I immediately ran to the front door to put on my shoes. I had to tell my friends. I even had my tattoo back!

Where are my shoes? I can't find my god damn shoes. Well, I'm not going anywhere. I went and grabbed a rag, and wet it under the tap. I started to wash the blood off the floor and I noticed something... Why are there bloody fingerprints? Fucking fingerprints? I didn't have hands since today. How did these get here?

'''Fuck! Ouch!''' I felt the rugged surface of a brick collide with my fragile skull and crack it wide open. Blood flowed through the hole, sliding across my head and getting in my face. Blood was dripping from my eyelids, I wiped my eyes. I saw my shoes. My fucking shoes. One of them raised off the ground, and stomped my head. Everything went black.

I had the dream again. Of the white place. But nearing the end of the dream, everything started to fade to red, I heard loud beeps, and the surgeons began to panic. Then, I awoke!

I immediately checked my hands. They were gone. Was it all a dream? No, it couldn't be... It was too good to be true, don't do this to me! I started sobbing. I walked to the kitchen to make myself something to eat. I was so upset, I almost didn't notice it.

The blood all over the floor. My shoes, sitting in the middle. A small card sitting on the counter.

"Thanks for helping, SUBJECT 074"

Under the card, there is a cheque for $70k.