The Onion Criminal

My onion is vomiting dank memes and fortnite, I blew it up, and tied it to my tv, and ate it. I then began stabbing an orange just because. I then saw Bob the builder throwing onions at my window, so I threw my own tomato’s at him, he cried and ran off. Then I saw Dib and Zim having a girly slap fight, so I threw Mountain Dew at them. Zim was unharmed, but Dib fell to the ground screaming in pain, I then saw the police breaking down my door. “YOU’RE UNDER ARREST FOR ONION CRIMES.” I’m now in jail. They have slapped me with onions and threw me out the window, I’m free, I’m going to get my revenge by throwing onions at everyone. I now have a criminal record for onion crimes, I have the whole police department chasing me down. I’m going to summon a giant onion monster that will eat all my targets and enimies. I now am watching Bob the builder, but some guy in a garbage truck broke through my house, he’s now watching Yo Gabba Gabba with me. This is my life, and I love onions, and I’ll throw them at you if you hate them. XDDDD

It has been a week since I fled from the police. My onion crimes are going great. I dunk my onions in Mountain Dew and Doritos before throwing them at random people. Sometimes, I sing Bob the builder’s “Can we fix it?” at the top of my lungs while throwing my onions. To make things more exciting, I will throw Doritos at them too. My house has pictures of onions on the walls, and I would eat anything, only if they had onions in them. I even have a toilet that looks like an onion. My entire house smells like onions. People are too scared to go near it because of the smell.

I have thrown so many onions at Zim’s house, that he ripped off the front door, and tried to slap me with one of my onions, but I yeeted a Dorito at him, making him scream and run back inside, he has not bothered me since.

I have been going after Bob the builder as well, I hide Doritos all over his yard. So when he goes outside, I hear his terrified screams. Doritos are scary. I even tried throwing a Dorito at a steamroller, and it seemed to scream and run away too. Why are people scared of my cheesy bois?

I’m now eating a burrito that is overflowing with onions, Doritos, dank memes, lemons, and fortnite. I also have a massive Mountain Dew. However, some guy driving a bulldozer drove into my house, and asked if he could have my dank burrito. I told him no and threw an onion at him. He took one of my Doritos and slapped me with it. The Dorito then exploaded into Mountin Dew. The guys took a big bite out of my burrito and ran off. He got away. That will be the last time I share my burrito with someone.

Boi my Doritos are throwing up Mountain Dew. I need to flush them down the toliet while singing Bob the builder at the top of my lungs.

Suddenly, Dib broke down my door and ate a part of my wall, so I threw an onion at him. Dib said that he called the police, the firemen, the coastguard, and the Air Force to take me down. But my onions are ready, they will be not match for me onion monsters.

I have successfully defeated everyone, and I’m now eating memes while watching Dora The Explorer. I then hear some onions being thrown at my window. Ah. It’s Bob the builder. I’ll go get my Doritos.