Evil Android of death

Part 1: It begins...
Long ago i bought this Samsung GalaxyS from a old pawn shop. The owner of said pawn shop looked similar to a mix of morgan freeman and john trevolta. i bought the android all though it had a crack on it, it was almost unnoticable. the man gave me a discount saying "i want that thing out of here, it is taking up space for other items." so i bought it and left thanking the man as i exited.

Part 2: where the "troll" in troll pasta kicks in.
When i got into my car i plugged in the android with the old charger that matched it and booted it up. as it turned on, a small image flashed for a split second. it looked like the word rooting, and it started. when i went to the app menu i saw that it was rooted.... and tha it had some odd apps. one was called "lists of people murdered" so i clicked on it, I saw peoples names with pictures of brutally murdered bodies next to the names. i can only assume the bodies were of the names. as i scrolled down and to my horror saw my name and that where the image usually was was a small video of me right then and there... coming from the back of me. i turned around and saw a camera with the words "Demon work" on the side next to start recording and take picture. i grabbed the camera and threw it out, and started my car and bolted the hell out of there!

Part 3: the next horror.
when i got home, i checked out more apps but none of them seemed out of the ordinary... but then my closet door opened and i saw a person holding a glass bottle that was shattered at the end. he wore a mask, he lunged at me and shanked me in the abdominal, i fell to the floor and blacked out. when i woke up i was strapped to the bed and the owner of the pawn shop stood over me, he said "thank you for sacrificing your self to satan... you have released me from my duties" and stabbed me with a dagger. i was killed, and now i have broken the forth wall.

Moral of the story:
Don't drink milk and eat cheese together.