How to Summon Colonel Sanders

''I was going through my stuff the other day when I came across a creepypasta I wrote when I was younger. I never posted it anywhere back then, but that was probably a good thing, since... I think this is one of the worst creepypastas of all time. It needs to be seen to be believed. I meant for this to be taken seriously. I believe this is the website where bad creepypastas are put nowadays.''

Ok, continue, laugh. You may be thinking; how can the ritual of summoning the fried chicken mascot be worth my precious time? How do you know that Colonel Sanders is a metaphorical demon entity, known as the guardian of greedy corporate decision-making in the hot pit of hell, who make money at all costs. KFC is actually the worst company, even worse than EA. The things they use should be illegal, such as slavery. But no one knows the reason for their dark agenda? They summoned the yugoloth on our tongue called Colonel Sanders. You can summon him through the following rituals. To make sure no one knows about the crime you committed.

 

You must purchase products from other companies that have used the power of Colonel Sanders. The first step is the 5 Mr. Potato Heads from Wal-Mart. The initial position was Toys-R-Us, but since it backed out, there have been some... complications. The second time you enter Wal-Mart, it will realize that you are trying this ritual. You screwed up. This will be ANGRY. You will be in another aspect. In the dark mist, you will be shrouded in a dark mist, covered in blood. But you are still at Walmart. You have 6 minutes, 6 seconds and 6 milliseconds to run there, grab the Mr. Potato Heads, and run out. If you don't do this, the darkness will turn into a bright light, and your face will melt Indiana Jones from your head.

 

After you do this, go home and put your potato head in the place where the five-pointed star is formed. At the center, you need to buy something else to put there. The second step is to purchase a copy of Snow White and Seven Clever Boys. In addition to eBay, you can buy it anywhere. If you buy it from eBay, a Minotaur will crawl out of your computer screen, cut your stomach, make you cruel, mysterious, and don't know who did it. In any case, put the Phoenix game in the center of the five-pointed star. Then, put 5 drops of your own blood in the center. If you do this, Mr. Potato Heads' eyes will become very realistic. If you drop another drop of blood, they will move and run to you, tearing your limbs with your limbs. You won't be able to escape because you will suddenly be embarrassed.

 

After the eyes become too realistic, you need to buy more. Buy a pint of red. However, you must purchase it in Texas, USA. Although depending on your location, you may need to spend a lot of money to buy a ticket to Texas, after you complete the ceremony, you can snatch all the banks in the world without any response, so this is not too More losses, right? Dropping the entire pinch on Snow White and the seven smart boys, the blood drops are now likely to dry on the plastic case. If Big Red is not from Texas, your mind will explode. If so, it will form a revolving portal to hell. Now all you need to do is the last step. But you have to do it quickly, because if you don't do it for the next 12 hours, the portal will close and you will have to do it again.

 

Hurry up, enter your car and perform a 11-mile ritual. When you complete that terrible ceremony, what you want will need to be a bag of frozen Tyson-branded dinosaur-shaped chicken. Not getting flocks of v.i.a. 11 miles will cause the Hell Portal to inhale you and condemn your curse forever. If you lose a bag of v.i.a gold nuggets. At 11 miles, Colonel Sanders will rise through the portal. But now you must associate him with your will. You will have to play a round of street fighters with him: Movie: Game. If you don't have a copy of that game, he will fry a large bucket of boiling on you and kill you in a matter of seconds. If you have a game, the climax of the ceremony will begin.

 

Colonel Sanders will be one of the players and he will pick M. Bison. Yes: He is very good at this game. Ask your fighting game skills to stop him. Because if you lose, you will suffer the most serious death from this ritual. Colonel Sanders will become the form he has taken for fighting and soul torture. The mortal only knows that this form is the mascot of the Burger King. What happens next is unimaginable, because he will introduce you to the terrible and terrible concept that human beings cannot understand. These concepts exist only on the ninth floor of Hell. But, beat him, he will disappear. However, don't be disappointed. You have received his blessing and can now commit any crime for the rest of your life. Just like KFC.