Last Will

This is my last will… I’m recording this now. I don’t have much time left. Well… not so much of a will, really. Everyone I know is dead, missing, or seconds away from death.

I don’t know how it went so wrong. It was supposed to be something that would grant me eternal wealth, riches and longevity. Something that I heard was supposed to be how Caesar rose to power. Me being the idealistic man that I am, I decided to try it. The information was scattered far and wide. On top of Mount Everest, inside the 5001st paving stone on the Great Wall – everywhere imaginable. Everything fit together precisely and beautifully. This is how it works.

Go into the “slums” of your city and wait for midnight to strike. You must bring along three items: a coin that was made on the year of your birth, an object that holds music – like a CD, a tape or an MP3 player – and the left eye from a two-week-old puppy. Stand on any street and wait exactly five minutes. If you did it correctly, there will be the sound of a single footfall behind you. You must then place the items on the ground, say your name aloud and then walk straight ahead for five minutes. Not sure what you’d do if there’s a wall or a bend in front of you. Follow the curve of the road or go around the obstacle maybe? Anyway, there’s no time to muse over the small details.

If you've followed those steps to the exact letter, you’ll get great power and life and all that in a couple of days. After that, you’re set for the rest of your life. If you didn't… well, that’s where I am now.

Wait. Did you hear that? A sort of… squishing sound? Like wet… I don’t know. The mic on here probably isn't powerful enough to pick up those sounds. After I didn't get my wealth and power, I did some research on this particular ritual. It’s not some crappy internet meme like Candlejack or the strange Creepy Pastas on old rituals. It’s powerful stuff – old black magic. Old… as in really old. If what I've read is correct, this stuff was considered old when Rome was the only world superpower. Some of the reports have crude drawings of the thing that appears behind you. HP Lovecraft has nothing on those images. I've also read reports on what happens to those like me… the ones who fuck up.

Man, those are the worst Nightmare Fuel. Reports of people being found torn in half, their internal organs sucked out their eye sockets… and the reports of the people who are found alive. Their seemingly insane babbling and yells of unspeakable things. Of course, they speak them… rendering the whole “unspeakable” aspect a moot point. I don’t want all those to happen to me. That’s why I bought an old style revolver with me. It’s loaded with silver bullets coated with salt. The way I make it, if five bullets don’t kill whatever it is – the last one will go into my brain.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, I guess I didn't follow everything to the letter because I didn't get any money or power; all I got was jack shit. After the research left me a quivering heap in my apartment, I began to slowly accept my fate. All of my affairs are in order. All my family… shit man, strangely… all of them died a few days ago. I mean, I was on the phone with my father, just talking about life and where I was going – when he screams and gurgles. It sounded wet. Really wet. I kept listening – trying to hear the killer… five minutes later I got nothing. When I went over to his place to see for myself… police were all over the place. Questioned me for a bit and then got me to I.D. the body. Or at least… what was left of it. Christ, my old man didn't deserve to die that way. All this death for a stupid wish. All my friends? Dead, or dying. I just came from the hospital. Pulled the plug on my ex. Literally. She was pretty torn up – again, literally.

I’m preparing myself now. I’m going to place this recorder inside this dumpster and leave the lid propped up. Hopefully whatever it is will make some sort of noise. Anyway, I won’t say my name here. You’d probably Google it to the high heavens anyway. OK, goodbye to everyone who is listening.

Save yourself.

''Full recording of a tape found in an empty street. The only sign of the individual (John Doe) was a rather large puddle of blood near the far wall. Further investigation found said revolver – unfired. The last five minutes of the tape are transcribed below.''

JD: All right you son of a bitch, I’m here. I did everything and you didn’t deliver! What the fuck is wrong with you? What the hell are you anyway?

(Silence)

JD: What? That doesn’t make a lick of sense! You can’t be serious! Step out of the shadows! I wanna see who I’m dealing with.

(A single footfall is heard)

JD: Oh Christ.

(Silence, then a scream that trails off into wet gurgling. Crunching sounds heard for the remainder of tape)

''Forensics have found tracks leading away from the pool of blood. the tracks do not match any known human or animal on record.''

– Credited to LordRex.