Sakurai's Secret



I loved the Super Smash Bros. Notice the past-tense in "love". I played all the smash bros. games, having fun with each one. I was, as with everyone, hyped for the new game. Everyday I would go to Sakurai's miiverse page and see the pic of the day. I would always watch reactions of the reveal and direct. I would always watch videos that talked about smash bros. like cjszero01's "Smash Chat". But here's why I now hate the series. I was walking one day and came across a yard sale. I found a 3DS cartridge with the name "Super Smash Bros 4" Written in sharpie. The game looked awfully sketchy, so I didn't bother buying it. That was until the man said "Hey kid, if you buy this game, I'll also give you a copy of donkey kong country." I lost my copy of donkey kong country a long time ago, so I decided to get it.

After I played Donkey kong for a while, I looked at the SSB Cartridge. I was curious. Was this a beta? Was this a hack? I couldn't stand it. I put down my SNES controller and put the game in the 3DS. The Icon was the smash logo, but the jingle that played sounded depressing. I didn't give it much thought and started the game. After 8 seconds of loading, I came to the main menu. It looked a lot like brawl's, so I thought this was pretty much a beta. I wanted to play classic mode with one of the new characters. The selection screen had all of the people that should be there. There was even some characters that haven't been announced yet, like Wario and even King K. Rool! I selected Mega Man, and then I pressed start. There was no voices yet, and the intro screen for the stages were just simple text. I still had fun playing as Mega Man, using his cool Moves. When I reached the last stage, I expected it go to master hand. But the text at the intro just said

V.S.:...OH GOD NO

I freaked out a little. Was this just a sick joke from the developers? After 3 seconds, I stood on final destination. I heard a Master Hand laugh, but I din't see Master Hand. Who I did see.. was the villager. He had a crazed look in his eye. He an ax in his hand. I started to attack him, but he was somehow able to continuously charge at me. Once he contacted me, he swung his ax at me. Mega man stopped. After the first hit, he fell down crying. After a few more hits, Mega man was on the ground, split in half, dead. The villager, covered in blood, laughed mechanically. After 5 seconds, I was sent back to the title screen.

I was still itching to play as the new characters. I went to classic again, but what was weird was that Mega Man was gone. He was replaced with an icon of a skull that read "DEAD".

The other character I really wanted to play as was the villager, nut I was kind of afraid to select him. I worked up the nerve and pressed start. I was fighting pikachu. The villager didn't have his moves from the direct. Every button I pressed had to do with his ax in some way. When I approached pikachu, I swung my ax at him,  and he instantly sliced in half.

Blood and guts flew out of him. The Villager did his laugh and then I went to the next stage. It was yoshi. Same thing happened. Next Rosalina. Same thing. I actually faced all of the characters in the game, all split in half, bleeding, and dead.

When I reached the last stage, something weird happened. I was in a stage with random code in the background. The Villager was bloody as heck. Just then, I saw someone come. It was Sakurai. It wasn't him realistically, just his mii. Then, he actually started to speak:

"Villager, why are you doing this?"

Then the villager said in a demonic voice:

"Because nobody deserves to live."

"That's it, I need to get rid of you before something bad happens!"

"Too late, Sakurai. All the fighters are dead. Now I'm coming for the people."

"Oh no, you won't!"

Sakurai went around the stage trying to delete the villager's code. But he was too late. The villager pounced at him and severed his head. Then the villager laughed again. After that, I shut off the 3ds, took the cartridge, and smashed it. I went on miiverse to tell people what happened. But when I was about to post, I noticed some news:

NOTICE: MASAHIRO SAKURAI HAS RECENTLY PASSED AWAY. SUPER SMASH BROS WILL BE DELAYED.

As I tried to take in the sad news, I went to my computer and wrote this down. I figured that other copies of the game would have the villager kill other Nintendo employees, like Miyamoto or reggie. But whatever happens, I beg you, please don't buy Super Smash Bros 4.