The Unstable

Here in this unstable house, on this unstable street, in this unstable town, I live, my name is Louie Shenskin. Every day doing the same thing over and over again. Watching the unstable world go by as I sit up in my unstable room with my unstable family. Just watching. Watching this unstable city go by. Everythings always the same. Like a broken record, stuck on repeat, singing the same words, playing the same notes over and over again. Nothing ever changes. I am stuck like the record, sitting up here in this unstable room, with my unstable family, in this unstable house, on this unstable street.

Every once in a while, I am able to leave this unstable place. Only to meet with other unstable people. To be slapped in the face with others madness. But, I only need to endure it ever so often, when my unstable parents decide its time for us to go out and join an unstable party thrown by unstable neighbors. I have always wondered why that is. Why can’t we go outside? Why are we always locked up in here? Why do we go to the same party, thrown by the same neighbors every year? Why only that one?

My curiosity was interrupted by an unfamiliar sound somewhere in the house. A sound that was never there before. A sound that was frightening. Loud knocks on what I think are the walls, but I am definitely unsure. This unstable house is large, and creaky, could it just be someone walking downstairs and their steps just echoing through this unstable foundation? Another loud crack broke the silence. No, too distanced from each other. No one in my unstable family would ever take large steps like that. Then what is that sound? My unstable thoughts race through the possibilities of what that unstable sound could be.

Could it be an animal? Could it be my younger sibling acting as some unstable character that their mind could have come up with? Could it be my parents? Could it be workers?

Nothing. Nothing that my unstable mind could come up with would ever match that sound.

The unstable thoughts in my mind race quickly, so quickly I can barely comprehend them. That sound. That sound that has never been heard before. I always beg for something to change. For something to be different in a days passing. But this, this sound echoing through this creaky unstable house, echoing in my unstable mind, it’s making me go crazy! I need to make it stop! I don’t want this change anymore! Make it stop! Please!

My chest feels compressed! I can’t breath! I can’t yell for help! My chest! Oh god someone help me please! I can feel my lips and mouth moving, my lungs are pushing air through my vocal chords, but yet I still remain silent. Please! Please that sound make it stop! My knees buckle and I fall to the floor, my body gives out and I can't move.

The sound stops. Silence falls. I can move. I can breath. My unstable mind snaps back into place. The sound. The sound is no longer there. An unstable smile sprawls across my face. This was amazing. I was so happy. My unstable voice lets out a hysterical laughter. Thank god it’s all over! My laughter grows louder and louder. My chest burns and aches as I roll around on the floor, laughing louder and louder. My unstable mind stops it. So I lay there, watching the unstable ceiling in my unstable room. Only my unstable thoughts keeping me company at this point in time.

It has been a few hours since the sound had stopped. I now sit on my unstable bed, swimming through my unstable thoughts in my unstable mind. I sit in the darkness. My eyes showing me the swirling colors of madness, even if I blink, they never stop. I sit in the unstable darkness, listening to my unstable thoughts.

Out of the darkness. My unstable ears begin to hear a familiar noise. The repeating loud crack breaking the silence of my unstable room. My unusually stable eyes widen in horror of the noise. My unstable body begins to shake horribly. I shoot out of my bed and begin to look for that noise. I need to find it. I HAVE to find it! I MUST FIND THIS GODFORSAKEN NOISE GODDAMN IT! THIS NOISE MUST STOP! I HAVE TO MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE GOD MAKE IT STOP! My chest burns and it becomes difficult to breath. Yet, I still run. I must find that damn noise if it’s the last thing I do!

My legs hurt, they ache from running up and down the unstable stairs. My head pounds. My ears burn from the noise as well. My vision, is blurry. Everything is becoming blurry, I can’t think straight, my thoughts, they are all too frantic. I can’t handle it anymore. I couldn’t help but to scream out for my mother. Only to realize. Realize why I never went outside of this house. Why I always stayed in. Why I always went to the annual party at the same neighbors house.

The sound. The sound. The sound echoing throughout my home. The sound of that fateful night. My eyes burn. The sound I was hearing. It was the sound of the gun.

The same sound. The same sound of the same gun. The same sound of the same gun I used. I. Me. I used it. It’s mine. All my fault. I am all alone because of it. Alone. Only, I sit here, in this unstable house. On this unstable street. I sit here next to my unstable mother. I sit here next to my unstable father.

I sit her next to my unstable younger sister. I sit here. Alone in my unstable manor. Watching the unstable world go by as my unstable family lay there. On the unstable floor rotting. Only, They were stable. I was the one that was unstable. The party. The party I went to. They all pitied me. They all knew I wouldn’t have been able to take care of myself. They were right.

No one ever knew though. No one ever knew I killed them. No one ever found the gun underneath the unstable floorboards! No one ever knew that the sound of it was always echoing in my mind. No one ever found their bodies. No one ever knew that I spent my nights sitting next to their rotting unstable bodies. No one.

I was not alone. I had always been with my family. They had always loved me. They had always taken care of me. I remember when My and my younger sister, we, we used to have tea parties all the time. We dressed her all up, and we sat there drinking our tea from our teacups.

I remembered when I had accidentally cut my lip on the tea cup. That was last week. That was when mom helped me heal it. That was when dad had told me to man up. That was when we all gathered in the hall to play a game of charades. That was the week that policemen told me I needed to leave, that my house was going to be taken away from me in a month or two. That was the week I spent days trying to find a way to keep our home. I couldn’t find one. It was a good week. A very very good week. Me and my family had fun.

Until that damn policeman showed up. That was when they began to get mean to me. That was when Mother, told me I had to either go away with them, or stay and let those men take me away to be hurt. That was the week my sister had told me I either had to go away with mom, dad and her or stay and let those men take away our tea time. That was the week my dad had told me that I either had to leave with them, or let those men tear down our house. That was the week they all stopped talking to me.

Then this week started. Today. I heard the noise. I realized, what I had to do. I realized that I needed to go with my family. That I needed leave this place otherwise, they were gonna take me away from my family.

My stable family, they wait for me now. The sound of the gun. It grows louder and louder. My eyes burn even more now. My legs shake and my arms too. I climb the stairs. Everythings going to be okay, everythings going to be fine. I will be with my family soon. I won’t need to be taken away from my family. I can be with them always now. I am at the top now. My family is waiting below. I get onto the railing. Standing, balanced on this unstable railing surprisingly. My arms stable with each other. I watch my family below. They are stable. They are stable for me to land nice and stable next to them all.

My weight shifts and I feel my feet let go of the unstable railing. My family. They are stable. I am stable. We are all stable.

New York city daily

June 2nd, 1994

A man by the name of Louie Shenskin’s body was found today inside of his New York home.

''It has been reported that Shenskin’s family mysteriously disappeared four years ago. Upon investigation of the disappearances, police had found no trace of them any where. Neighbors say that each year they hold a grieving party for him as he is the only survivor. Each year he attends, and very rarely ever leaves the house. They also report a strange and unsettling smell comes from the house. Upon investigation of the first reports of the smell police had found nothing.''

''Shenskin was reported to be evicted this month of June. Upon investigation of resisting eviction, police stumbled upon the skeletons of: Janet Shenskin, Robert Shenskin, Jane Shenskin, and the body of Louie Shenskin. Doctors say Janet, Robert, and Jane had been dead for four years.''

Doctors also report that Louie was deemed mentally unstable.