Old Men Have Regrets

"Oh! If it isn't my dearest nephew, Johnny! How are you, Johnny, good? Good!"

"Well Johnny, as you know, I'm getting pretty old, my boy. I know how much you loved coming over here as a child, but I fear that I won't be around much longer. I'm sick, Johnny, but hey! We have today, so let's make the best of it! I wanted to show you something. It's something I have never showed anyone else before; don't you think that's special? How old are you now, my boy? Twelve? Then you're ready."

"Here, follow me, I'll explain on the way. Now, Johnny, please don't think any differently of ol' pappy after I show you this; it's something I regret terribly. Come on, this is outside Johnny. I don't know if you know much about ol' pappy back when he was younger, but I did live in this house a very long time.

What's that? How long? Oh, I'd say about sixty entire years! Perhaps more! Yes, ol' pappy is that old. Anyway, back when I wasn't so old, back long before you came to this world, or even your dad, back even before I met granny, I was a different person. Come now, it's not in the shed; you have to follow me into the woods. "

"Don't be scared, it's daytime! The woods are bright and alive! Anyway, I was a different person, Johnny, and one I regret being entirely. Back then, I was a bad man. I did bad things. When I met granny, at the beginning, I was still a bad man! I couldn't help myself. It was like a thirst you couldn't quench, you know?

Quench? It means to get rid of, to fix. But yes, I couldn't quench it. I only felt better when I did these bad things, but the feeling didn't go away until granny had your daddy. Keep up, Johnny. Do you know what loneliness is, Johnny? Of course you do. Well, you don't like it, right? I figured you wouldn't. "

"Well, loneliness is why I did these bad things. I was so very lonely, but when I did these bad things I felt like the people I did them to became... a part of me. I know it sounds weird, ol' pappy must be losing it! Watch out for that rock, Johnny. So, when I met your granny, it became much less frequent, and eventually, it stopped with your daddy in the picture. What did I do? Well, I'm showing you, Johnny, you silly boy. Come, up here; I'll give you a lift. Johnny, have you been eating fast food lately? Well, that's not good. "

"Anyway, ol' pappy must've done these bad things to... oh I'd say forty-seven people over the years. But now ol' pappy is going to be leaving this Earth, just like granny. You thought granny went to Florida? No my boy, granny is gone. I know where she is, but she isn't in this world no longer. How do I know? Well... granny didn't have too much longer here anyway, but she constantly was talking about living on, so I made her a little part of me. Come now Johnny, it's inside here. It's dark? Well yes, all caves are dark, but don't worry, there are lights inside. "

"Watch your step Johnny. You want to see granny? Well, she's up ahead. Here, stop here. Let me get this light on. Ah, there it is. What are those my boy? Those are called bones, human bones to be exact. Those ones over there belong to granny, the ones that are much bigger than the rest.

She's part of me now boy, but you are my favorite nephew. I want to take you with me when I leave, my boy; I want you to be a part of me. Johnny, do you know what people taste like? No? People taste like chicken, surprisingly enough! Here Johnny, sit here, look at this book. I know it's a little young for you, but I've had many younger children read it here before.

"Don't worry Johnny, in three days, your parents will know exactly where you, granny, me, and all these other kids are. Now sit still, this will only hurt a bit."