RAM (to sing)

March 15, 2014, 9:17 AM EST

Deep in my heart, I am worried. And I know you would be too after reading all of this. Because I know it isn't normal. This couldn't be normal and I am afraid for myself and my sanity. I feel like my sanity is dropping every time I think about him and every time I think about him, he is near me. And he knows I'm writing all of this down too. He doesn't want me to speak up or let me talk about him at all. But, I have to get this out there as it is the only way.

The past week has had it's reality shuttered away from my grasp. What I mean by this, is that anything that seemed to be normal, school, home, and even when I go out somewhere, it's all distorted to the point that I question my existence. Nothing felt normal and nothing felt right at all to me. This isn't normal and it shouldn't be. This should be all a dream but it is reality. How could I be dreaming? I am awake! So many questions have been left unanswered and I couldn't really understand it. I still can't really. I do know one thing however, there was this cute guy that came in to the school a couple of weeks ago.

He didn't really talk much. In fact, to our knowledge, we didn't really know if he could speak. He never seemed to open his mouth once, not even during classes. He kept to himself a lot and was shy and timid all the time. He wrote everything he wanted to say down on paper with a pencil or a pen at times, including his seemingly "normal" conversations with the other students. Surprisingly, the other students didn't find it odd whatsoever as they just assumed it was due to his shy and timid nature that he didn't really speak that much and for the first 3 days, I thought the same as well. That was, until he started noticing me during classes.

He seemed to have a crush on me but at the time, I didn't really know that because he didn't speak and everyone around him wasn't sure if he could or not. And here's where things take a turn to the Twilight Zone. In order for me to have noticed him (which obviously worked), he had an idea of his own;

He started to sing, literally, like out loud. And oh my god did it get everyone's attention. But not in a teasing manner, no. Everyone, including myself was shocked and stunned. He sang like a pop star, an angel, he really did sing that good. And of course, he sang a song to me. That of which when I think of it now, kind of disturbs me on the inside. He sang something about how he wanted me to be his and only lover and how he wanted me to stay with him forever. To be honest, it sounded so sweet and innocent the first time I heard it and like any other girl in the school, I flew out of my seat and began to cuddle him. And as I did so, he turned his head to face me. He whispered something in my ear, with a voice I have never heard before in my life until that point. His voice sounded beautiful to my ears. It was like I was in heaven at that moment. Though, what he said wasn't really all that extraordinary, I can't help but hear that voice in my head over and over again.

He said to me;

"My name's Ryan, sweetie. And don't even bother acting like that around me again. You see, I never wanted to talk because I knew everyone wanted a piece of me and if I spoke at all, all the girls would wanna jump all over me. I didn't want that because I already had someone in mind. That, being you, my love."

I don't know what exactly occurred to me then but after we parted ways, but I kept hearing Ryan's voice over and over again in my memory. And the days coming up to March Break, Ryan would always do the same thing. Go over towards me and kiss me on the cheek without me noticing or caring because I was focused on other things. However, something kept on drawing me closer to Ryan and I didn't know what or who it was. But I wanted more of it. I started seeing Ryan more often, talking to him more often, and on occasion, we would make this desire known to the others. We would touch each other and being out tongues to each other's throats, satisfying what we needed most from each other. There was something about Ryan that drew me closer and closer to him each and every day and I couldn't help but wonder. What was it about Ryan that I like so much about him? Unfortunately, I found out the answer the hard way.

I woke up in a different room than my own one day. The room was normal, it had a bed, dressers and a bookshelf like any other bedroom but there was one thing that stood out to me. When I woke up, there was a monitor that was turned on. It seemed as if it had been left on overnight so I got up and looked over the monitor screen. Then I realized something off;

When I looked into the mirror to the right, I figured out that I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, and stockings to boot. Confused and panicked at the same time, I tried to find a phone to call the police. There was none. I tried to get out of the room, the door was locked.

"Fuck!" I yelled in rage as I tried to ravage the door open.

It had been a couple minutes of me using everything I could to bust the door down before I felt a presence glaze my neck. I turned around to find Ryan there, staring at me with cold and emotionless eyes. I started to scream as loud as I could for anybody or anyone to get me out but nobody came, at least quick enough. Ryan threw a gag onto my mouth as he pushed me back onto the bed. Ryan then proceeded to handcuff my wrists as he tore off the panties with a knife that he had hidden away in one of his pockets. I tried to scream but couldn't because of the gag in my mouth along with the handcuffs tied to my wrists so that I couldn't try to escape. Ryan then proceeded to take the bra off with only made the feelings inside of me get worse. I became terrified of Ryan, not knowing what he wanted to do with me whatsoever at the time. Ryan immediately decided to flip me over and grope my breasts before whispering something to my ear that would probably take hold in my memory for the rest of my life.

"Isn't it about time you make yourself known to the world, babe? You can't hide the fame in there forever."

I became silent. I didn't want to speak and I didn't care what would happen to me. All I wanted was for Ryan to get off me and for me to go home, one way or the other. But he just smirked at me quietly while taking his pants off along with his boxers. Of course, I tried to scream again but to no avail. Ryan then proceeded to turn me back onto my stomach, spread my legs apart and....

He inserted his dick into my vagina and decided to rape me.

I don't want to tell you anymore of what happened in that room that morning because it has traumatized me but I did managed to escape and that's all that matters. However, this isn't even the scariest part and I know that might be shocking to some but it truly isn't.

The police came into my room yesterday, they questioned me about Ryan and what happened that morning. I told them everything, the desire I had for him and even the rape incident. The police then stared at me in shock. They told me I was not the only victim of his and that there were about 10 other teenage girls that came into his grasp. 8 of those were killed with their vocal cords taking out and their heads decapitated. Leaving the bodies to decay and burned into ashes. The police also told me that his name wasn't actually Ryan and that he was called different names by the surviving victims and that before he killed his victims, he would rape and torture them for hours before killing them in the outskirts of the town or city. The most terrifying thing that they told me though, was that they didn't know how he killed his victims or much about him at all. All they knew about him was that he couldn't of been human which even to this day, still frightens me and leaves me with chills all over my body.

I am currently seeking a therapist to get me through the ordeal. Expect there's one thing that concerns me. The other victims, the ones he killed. People around the world know about them now. And plus, they all think of them as idols, synthesized ones to be precise. I always wanted to be an idol, famous, and have lots of money. But now I'm not entirely sure if I actually want that for myself. Sadly though, this nightmare has just begun for me. Because I know he's still out there, waiting for me.

Do not copy or post on other sites without permission