Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: Demo Version

I am an avid Super Smash Bros. fan. I love everything about it; the fighting mechanics, the roster, the variety of modes, EVERYTHING!!! However, I was traumatized after seeing what you are about to hear.

The final Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Direct had just finished, and I went to the Switch eShop to pre-order the game. However, I saw on the eShop “Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: Demo Version.” “Huh, that’s strange,” I thought, “as I’m sure this would have been announced during the Direct.” Nevertheless, I downloaded it. Oh, how I wish I could take it back.

The intro played, and it was very similar to Melee’s Intro, with all the other characters, of course. Then, strangely, I had somehow bought the entire game! Confused, I went to the normal Smash mode and was ready to play stocks. I played on WarioWare Inc., but when I got to the character select screen, I was very confused. All the characters were unlocked, and 5 new characters were in there; Geno, Banjo and Kazooie, Steve, Katalina, and Ninten. I didn’t know whether to feel happy about Banjo being in Smash, or confused about everything. I just selected Snake and got ready to fight.

When I got into the fight, everyone was a Mii-my Mii. Also very odd. However, I still kept playing the microgames in WarioWare. When I killed the final stock of the final Mii, yet another odd thing happened-however, this one was the oddest. The game didn’t stop, and I didn’t go to the victory screen. All 3 Mii came back, and they beat me up. I got knocked off the stage, and the next thing I saw was horrifying.

Galeem from World of Light came in a cutscene. It was the same World of Light cutscene shown in the Direct, but instead, when Galeem shot those laser beams, everyone was vaporized-but Kirby was caught! The aftermath of what I saw was horrifying. Everyone was dead, with a lot of blood and guts everywhere. The camera went over the landscape, and in the center was my Mii, lying dead, intestines around him, both eyes gulged out, blood everywhere. All of a sudden, I saw flashing lights and static. Then, everything went black.

I woke up in a hospital, where doctors around me were clamoring. Apparently I had a seizure, and my roommate (yes I am in college) noticed and called 911. When I got home, the demo was wiped off of my Switch. However, my Mac had a new email-from Nintendo! Translated from Japanese, it read...

“Dear [NAME WITHHELD]

We at Nintendo apologize for the things you had to see. An insane game developer made this ROM hack. He has since been fired. However, he was able to sneak this evil hack disguised as a demo onto the Nintendo Switch eShop-luckily, only you got it to appear before we stopped it from being on the worldwide eShop. This man has been placed in a mental asylum. If you see a report of someone else getting this “demo,” contact us immediately.

From,

Nintendo of Japan”

So this was all an evil ROM hack. It all made sense now! I will still buy this game, but if any trace of them hack appears, I will throw my Switch out a window. If you see this hack, CONTACT NINTENDO IMMEDIATELY. Because I do not want anyone seeing the same horrifying images I did. The image of my Mii’s dead body still gives me nightmares...