Soledad

You know that feeling right after something bad happens? That slow, draining feeling when your heart sinks and you feel like you're going to choke on your own breath? I felt that after I got "THAT" phone call. The one where the best thing you hear is:

"We can still be friends." That's a lie. You'll never acknowledge my existence again.

The day it all started was a bright one. I never really thought that such a great monster could live after the break up. Sometimes I wish I ended it there. Enough with the vague crap though, after the call I couldn't hold on to reality well. I've been seeing this tall, dark, figure.

He (I assume it's a he) has long dark hair, greasy hair. So greasy, you can feel it from a mile away. The most unsettling thing about this thing is.. He's cloaked.. With a mask made of wood, with a painted smile on it.. It's almost pained looking, yet neutral.

The day of the break up, I checked out the window to see if I was good to go walking. As I said, the skies were bright, but the clouds deceived me. My, now ex, girlfriend called me up and basically said:

"I only see you as a friend. Sorry, we're done."

You see, I'm a very weird kid, with very weird tastes, that being said, all my relationships before that, AND the one I'm in now have been long distance. So technically, this girl, who will remain nameless, was my first everything. My first kiss, my first date, ect. So, I took the break up as well as I could. I killed some people in Postal 2 and listened to dubstep and metal. Eventually it dawned on me.

"I'm not good enough.. I'm not meant for her.. WHY AM I STILL CRYING?!"

I said with the voice inside my head.

The days after only got worse. I would go to sleep and I'd see this man.. It's nothing bad, but he'd just stand there with his fucking mask. EVERY GODDAMN DREAM I HAD, HE WAS IN IT. He would get closer, and closer, and closer.. until.. last night.

8/26/12
The day I lost my grip on reality. It was a normal dream, like the basic running around, limbo dream. I ran around in this large field, waiting for him to come closer. He was behind me though, staring with the nothingness I saw through the eye holes. I ran for it, but it seemed like he was always behind me..

The worst part was knowing he wouldn't stop. So I turned and confronted him about it. WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE! I still remember what we said and did. It went like this:

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" I shouted

It rebutted with a laugh. Then asked the same question.

"Why are you following me?"

"Do you even know what I am?"

"You're a monster." I stuttered.

"You mean, YOU'RE A MONSTER."

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

"Don't you get it? I am you. Remember when that cunt broke your heart? I WAS THERE WATCHING YOU BREAK DOWN."

"What..what are you..?"

"Why are you asking me that? You already know the answer."

"BURN IN HELL!"

"Already doing it."

I couldn't handle it anymore, I ripped that STUPID FUCKING MASK OFF HIS GOD DAMNED FACE! But.. haha.. nothing.. there was no face. I could see the agony on such an empty visage.. It ran at me with such force, such speed, it clearly knocked me down.. It held me down, slowly tearing my arms off.. I heard the skin tear, I heard the bones crack and snap like twigs, I felt the overwhelming pain as if it happened.

I saw my own arms plunge into my chest to rip out my still beating heart. It wanted to show me how black it was before I woke up. I'm scared of the dark to this day because of this reason.. I could see it pumping a tar like, blackened substance. Then like THAT, it's "Mouth" opened and ate my pitch black heart.

I woke up to see it staring at me through the T.V.. It wants it's mask back.. It wants me..

8/27/12 (Today)
I awoke from the dream.. Holding the mask.. There was no smile on it though.. Just nothing. Like it's face.. It's nothing like the movies.. You wake up and everything is fine. No.. this isn't like the movies at all. Every time I blink I see that monster. I'm naming it Soledad. It's something that popped into my head. Maybe tonight I'll get rest, even with that thing after me. I'll try to post more experiences here. I won't guarantee they'll be pretty though..

Oh! One more thing. Never brush off your dreams like they're nothing.