Talk:Arthur Lost Episode: Arthur's Suicide/@comment-2601:8B:8401:84C0:B8E4:995C:EF2:C8FD-20191129164752

This...story....What can I say about it?

Well, first, this is just gramatically TERRIBLE. Sure, the spelling is pretty good, but sentence fluency and the voice just don't sound right when you're reading it. For example, when the author wrote, "The students entered the class, this is one of the most horrible parts, there was a very loud scream and I was really scared when that happened." It should say, "After the students entered the classroom, a shrill scream filled the room. I jumped in fear." Taking away the "this is one of the most horrible parts" makes it less childish and splitting the author's sentence keeps it from being a run-on sentence. Also, shortening the sentences makes it straight to the point.

Second, the IDEAS! Every scary detail is all just for "shock factor" when it really isn't all that shocking considering its just like any other "lost episode" creepypasta. Sure, the connection to Squidward's Suicide is kind of neat, but basically copying the end of Squidward's Suicide plot in a mediocre way is just...annoying, if I'm going to be honest. The details that are supposed to be scary aren't and they're just boring or gross.

Overall, this creepypasta is a piece of mediocrity. It's hard to read without being irritated and the plot is boring and overused. You can do better. A LOT better.

My rating? 2/10. Could have been worse, but its not awesome.