Gorillaz Lost Pilot

The begining
Hi, have you heard of Gorillaz? It's a very popular band that's been catching on recently. A lot of fans may know about Gorilaz bitez, witch are shorts featuring the characters that aired on MTV. Well, did you know that MTV was planning on adapting the shorts into a show? A pilot was made but was rejected and the idea was eventually scrapped. Both Gorillaz and MTV never revealed any information about the pilot and no one has heard about it. UNITL NOW!!!!!

So i was walking down the street with my nikes on when i bumped into a wierd looking old man who look dead inside. He suddenly threw a VHS at me and said "PLZ TAKE DIS DON'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT OR YOU WILL DYE!!" After that i got the f#ck out of there because the old man looked ugly as sin. When I got home i loked at the dvd. On it was a rectangular sticker that had "GORILLAZ PILOT1!" written on it in presumbably black sharpie. Being a HUUUGE fan of Gorillaz i decided to watch it. I insetred the VHS into my vhs player that played VHSes and turned the tv on. Ther was no menu and no ads, the VHS just skipped to the pilot right away.

The pilot
The pilot started with all 4 gorillaz sitting on the couch watching tv when Murdoc turned to face 2-D. "2-D, pick a f#ckimg channel already, i don't wanna watch any of this hentai weeaboo bullcrap." "C'mon Murdoc, the characters are beautifully written, the story's very intriging and there's lots of emotional mometns, just give it a chance." "The manga was better." "You don't even read manga." Then Russel got up and said "SCREW dis nibba-ass fitetang krap, let's watch sum Pulp fiction. Dat movie's lit as sh#t." "Wait, none of us have actual jobs other than standing in a room, playing instruments and crap, and Murdoc is the only person here who has a form of income. How is he making money?" and Murdoc spoke "Simple. Tax fraud."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc8vrGjyqes&feature=youtu.be

Word up, Murdoc Faust Niccals is my name

And imma tell you how I beat the IRS at their own game

I lied on my tax forms cause I just don't give a f*ck

Now I'm practically swimming around in big bucks

I got 12 million dollars in my attic undeclared

And I got another million more right under my stairs

I do my business deals under cover of the night

So I can hide the cash away from Uncle Sam without a fight

I take advantage of every loophole, even ones that don't apply

It's been 20 years, still haven't been caught in a lie

I claimed Noodle as a dependent though she ain't my kid

And made up charity work I never even did

I must have cheated on my tax forms at least a hundred times

So many clever tricks I can't fit them all into rhymes

Murdoc is my name, money laundering is my game

And committing tax fraud is worth every single dime

I'm a tax dodging badass, I don't play by the rules

I make the government look like a bunch of damn fools

I keep 99 cents of every dollar that I make

Nothing makes me c*m faster than a good old tax break

I hate paying taxes if there's anything I hate

I supported Ron Paul back in 2008

You might think it's unfair that I don't have to pay

But it's okay, because taxation is theft anyway

Word to your mother

Peace out, yo

"Um, Murdoc. Ain't tax fraud morally and unethically acceptable?" "As long as you DONT tell anyone, it isn't. Besides, you stole part of that quote from wikipedia. Anyway, i'm pretty sure that black chick i asked to come over earlier is here, l8er m8." Murdoc said as he got up and opened the door to some black chick who had blood coloured( its coloured because it's is british) hair and dress and big boobs and was very sexy for a goth. They sat down on the couch and turned on the TV to fiftey shadez oof gray. "So. Wanna have some fun. I'm about to make you my b*tch." then Russel screamed "REALLY MURDOC? NIBBA DAT'S SLAVERY!" "LEAVE ME ALONE RUSSEL, I CAN DO WATEVRR THE F@CK I WANT WITH HER!!!" then the girl spoke "Um...Murdoc...just calm dow-" "WADDYA MEAN CALM DOWN, YA DYKE!" then Rusel screamed "NIBBA ONLY LESBIANS ARE ALLOWED TO SAY DAT WIFOUT OFFENDING ANYONE!" then noodle stepped in to the room and said "だから私はずっと一緒だったんです、レズ.それは私が私の女性のクラスメートにラブレターを送り続ける理由のように、たくさん説明します学校で." which translates to "So that's what I was all along, a dyke. That explains alot, like why I keep sending love letters to my female classmates at school." Then everyone in the room stood in SHOCK, including the woman. No one could believe that all this time, there guitarist was in love with women instead of men. Then 2-D spoke "okay then Noodle, ill support you" Murdoc responded with "WADDYA MEAN YOULL "Support" HER, SHE'S GAY!" "AW C'MON MURDOC NOT ALL LESBIANS ARE GAY!" "ALL LESBIANS ARE GAY YOU F#CKWAD!!" While the 2 were arguing about whether lesbians were gay or not, the woman's eyes suddenly turned blood red and she started floating in the air. Then she said "ENOUGH!!!! I'VE HAD IT WIT YO SH@T MURDOC! U GON DYE!!!!!"

Then the woman summonded a army of undead monkeyz with blood red eyes and blood all over thier bodys. The woman pointed to Murdoc. "ATTACK HIM NOW!" and then the monkeyz attacked Muroc and kiled him and blood was everywhere. Then the other 3 Gorillaz ran out the door and ran down the stairs under fear of meating the same fate as Murdoc. Then suddenly, Noodle tripped and fell down the stares and craked her skull and blood was all over her head. Then 2-D stopped in his tracks an turned to face the oncoming horde of monkeyz. "YOU BASTARDS!!! YOU JUST KILLED AN INNOCENT 10-YEAR OLD ASIAN LESBIAN WHO WAS OUR LOVELY GUITARIST!!! COME AT ME, I WILL FITE IN TEH NAME OF LESBIAN RIGHTS!" "NO 2-D, DON'T DO DIS, YOU GON DYE!" but 2-D ignored Russel and charged into the horde."FOR LESIBAN RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS!!!!" 2-D then proceded to fight the monkeyz with his fists and kicked their asses really hard, one of the monkeyz attempted to gouge his eyes out, but it failed because 2-D has no eyes so 2-D fly kicked him into a wall and blood got all over the wall. As he fought, Russel ran down as quickly as possible. When he finally got out of the building, he was surrounded by the army of monkeyz both outisde and inside the building. One of the monkeyz was holding the bloody decapitated head of 2-D which was bloody in fact it was so bloody bloody that trying to descirbe its bloodiness would not fully capture the bloodiness of how bloodlily bloody it was. Russel then took out a pistol and began massacreing the horde of monkeyz while spouting out hip gansta slang which went on for 2 minures. The monkeyz however, just kept coming and they wouldn't stop coming, and Russel was close to defeat when suddenly, Noodle jumped out from a nearby window with her head still cracked and bloody and beat up the remaining monkeyz while Russel laid there dying. After a long battle, the entire army was defeated but by that point, Russel was dead. Noodle took out a bouquet of white flowers and laid them on his body. Noodle then said "あなたはうまく戦った. 私の友達の安らぎを..." which translated to "You fought well. Rest in peace my friend..." I cried the entire scene because it so emotionla and beutiful.

THEN A SKELETON POPPED OUT AND DRAGGED NOODLE THROUGH A BLOOD RED PORTAL AND THE WOMAN FROM EALIER APPERED AND SAID "YOUR NEXT KATIE!!!!". DIS SHOOKED ME, HOW DID SHE KNOW MY NAME? THEN THE CREDITS ROLLED AND I SAW THE COPYRIGHT LOGO WHICH SAID "Copyright 2002" WHICH WAS BEFORE I WAS EVEN BORN. I WAS SO HORRIFYED THAT I THREW THE VHS INTO A FRIE AND THEN SMASHED THE CHARRED REMAINS WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER. I am so scarrd now i think im gonna die tomorow. Please tell my husband in Harvest Moon: Grand Bazaar, Angelo, that i love him!!!

Author's notes: I really hoped you enjoyed my story. Before i die, please note that I am sorry for potentially offending black people and lesbians. It was how the episode went but I'm still gonna take the blame. I left in the offensive content because I didn't want anyone trying to find the VHS and see it for themselves. Please leave it all up to your imagination and goodbye.