Lady Gaga's Secret

Although not many people know this, Lady Gaga, born Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, holds a terrible secret from her fans.

She is a demon.

Yes. Remember that song Paparazzi?? Well, that contains an extremely Satanic message when played backwards. I intended to prove this when I brought back-stage-tickets for one of Gaga's concerts. As I approached her, she asked me whether or not I wanted her autograph or not, and I said yes. However, when I brought up the subject of Paparazzi-reversed, she slapped me on the cheek, and shouted:

SHUT IT! SHUT YOUR F*CKING MOUTH!!!!!! AAGGG!!!!!!

And I was then asked to leave the room. Looking back on it, when I was slapped, the wound hurt much more than the usual slap, and felt more like setting your cheek on fire. Because I couldn't get anything out of Lady Gaga herself, I decided to chat with some of her producers. When I mentioned Paparazzi-reversed, they said that they had no idea what the hell Paparazzi was, apart from a news-reporter who takes photos of famous people for money. I explained, and then showed them the music video; they began to cry silver liquid, and then confessed to their crimes, but made me swear not to tell Lady Gaga what they had done by confessing.

This Is What They Said:

'We were a major part of Gaga's rituals...her...Satanic...rituals...she-she-she she worshipped Lucifer, and often gave constant 'offerings' of human hair, skin, and blood to demons of all shapes and sizes...their plans were to turn everyone, child and adult, into Satanists by releasing Paparazzi, or, when played in reverse 'Star Above Lucifer'. It was not until recently that she revealed her true form to us producers...s-s-s-s she...she had very pale skin, and white eyes, with red and green hair, and a forked, black tongue...It constantly spoke in muffled chants, and couldn't stop bleeding from his, her, or its mouth...Her limbs are un-countable, and I’d estimate the height to be about 20 feet, and the width to be 9 feet.'

Then the two producers fell to the floor, coughing up blood and ash. Their last words were:

"K-K-K-K-K KILL G-G-G GAGA!"

Before crying more silver liquid and blood, then turning to white foam, similar to the sort you'd find in a fire-extinguisher. At that moment, I just ran. I just ran and ran and ran.

But I know exactly what I have to do now.

I MUST KILL LADY GAGA!