Cartoon Network Scary Bumper



Note: I wrote this because I don't fully enjoy the new shows that came out after The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack, so don't get angry if your favorite show is included.

I was born in the late 90's and watched Cartoon Network with shows like Johnny Bravo and Dexter's Lab. I loved the cartoons, but when you're a kid anything but cartoons and video games is crap. So in 2006-2007, Cartoon Network was a sinking ship with live action shows like "Out of Jimmy's Head" and an in-between show called Fried Dynamite which featured the cast of "Out of Jimmy's Head", so the host of Fried Dynamite said there were to be new shows coming out. One of them was called Chowder, and it was apparently an admittedly horribly funny show about a bunny-cat-bear thing that eats everything. This caught me off guard because Fried Dynamite was usually awful. Then I saw an actual episode to find out it was funny, random bits and oddities. I never expected to ever see a cartoon that good to come out of crap like Fried Dynamite.

Then it was time for the bump. The main overview of Cartoon Network changed from a colorful grafitti-like overview to a smooth white world populated by creatures that would change color upon contact with a colored object. There was an advert that showed a dark rainy sea with a harbor on stilts with a rugged Pirate voice commentating that the place was called Stormalong Harbor and infamous pirates lived there, and that it also housed the worst pirate who ever then lived. Then it showed Flapjack saying "Hi!". Anyway, enough history. So I was up at 1:00 AM when a bumper came up and it showed Courage The Cowardly Dog leaning up against a brick wall panting. Then it panned to the right to show Chowder, apparently nervous about something. Then Flapjack crouched down and was shown to be shaking. Then it showed Ed from Ed, Edd,n' Eddy hiding in his coat. Then a demonic voice said "STAND UP BOY, YOU'RE FIRST!" Flapjack got up and a gunshot was fired and Flapjack now had a massive hole where his face was. He fell to the ground, dead.

We go to a view to see Chowder standing, still tense. A flapping noise is played, and then we move to a shot from the behind his head, as we see a blade swing from the ceiling and hit Chowder in the forehead. Ed was stark white now, different from his usual cheery yellow skin tone. The view pans to reveal that he's surrounded by bombs labeled ACME. A high pitched beeping goes off, and he's blown to bits, limbs and organs raining down. We go back to Courage. Courage grabbed his ears and howled, like in his show, and then a huge black monster that appeared to be made of ink picked him up and suffocated him with magazines. Then dropped Courage. Courage coughed, and a streak of blood trickled down as his fur turned a very pale blue while his eyes went back into his skull. Then there were voices. The voices said "Omnes mortui sunt", Latin roughly translated as "They're all dead". Then my TV cut to static.