Talk:Hotel Mario: The 13th Hotel/@comment-67.7.9.64-20170216230017

If you want to be taken seriously take my advice:

First your grammar needs to be fixed. Example? "The opening cutscean begun:"  Begun really? it should be "The opening cutscean began:"  Not enough? How about "Saying more demonic talking"  Really? Now that's just being lazy with your grammar.

Okay for the second reason this could have been good but it wasn't. This story feels sort of clech'e. You need to add more to your story, for example:  You could add why this was a dumped level such as "I feel this was dumped due to it being too mature for Nintendo." Or add you reasearching why this so called "Level" was dumped.

Don't take it personally, but this story isn't good.

3/10~