How I came to be.....(Wheatley)

“Everybody! Get out of the living room!” Leah demanded. “I wanna beat Portal 2 for my twentieth time!”

“That can’t be your twentieth time,” her little sister said.

“It is,” Leah insisted. “I’ve been keeping track.”

So her sister, brother, and mother decided to go to the mall so she could use the living room to play her game. She didn’t care if they thought she was a nerd. In her opinion, Valve made “kickass” games and Portal 2 was one of the best.

Everything was going swimmingly as she passed through the decrepit facility. As Wheatley would speak to Chell, she would reply to him out loud; she liked talking to video games when she was alone. Wheatley accidentally woke up GLaDOS and she teasingly cursed him for it. When GLaDOS crushed her buddy, she called the computer a few names that she wouldn’t like even though she knew Wheatley would turn out alright.

So she put up with GLaDOS’ attempts at making her feel guilty and would respond with something about how she tried to burn her. She couldn’t hear Leah, though, so her snappy comebacks were wasted on an earless TV. Whenever she saw Wheatley, she would call to him and try to grab him but she knew she couldn’t. (Bit sad, really……) She also invaded every Rat Den that she could but she couldn’t find that Rattmann.

Finally, Wheatley helped her escape the tests. They sabotaged the turrets and cut off GLaDOS’ neurotoxin supply. The two made it to the chamber, and she hesitated as she held Wheatley over the stalemate receptacle. (Awww.)

“Do NOT plug that little idiot into my mainframe!” GLaDOS commanded.

“No, you SHOULD plug that little idiot into the mainframe,” Wheatley insisted.

“I love you, Wheatley!” she said as she shoved him into the machine. (That’s really sweet…..)

Then she used portals to get to the button and pressed it. She felt bad for little Wheatley as he was lowered into the ground. He went through such pain whenever she played this. But then GLaDOS screamed in autotuned agony, and she felt worse for her. (I bet it BARELY hurt her! She’s such a drama queen!) Chills ran up her back every time she heard that.

But then Wheatley was all excited with his new body. She was happy for him, but she always dreaded when he would suddenly turn on her and shove her down an elevator shaft. (Well, that makes me feel bad.)

“Let’s get this over with,” she said as she made Chell walk into the elevator.

The elevator started to lift, but instead of Wheatley’s laughter becoming evil, he abruptly stopped laughing all together.

“Dammit,” she cursed the game. “Don’t glitch on me now.”

The elevator lowered again and there was a red glow coming from the floor just below Wheatley. But he said something entirely different from the normal gameplay.

“You know,” he said, “I’ve just noticed something in this console’s hard drive.”

“What?” Leah murmured, trying to figure out what was happening to her game.

“I know what I was about to do,” Wheatley continued. “And I AM still going to put GLaDOS in a potato.”

“What?! What are you doing, you little imbecile?!” GLaDOS exclaimed as her shell was dragged into the floor below Wheatley that now resembled some type of hell. (She really saw it as a HELL?) Sparks flew from where GLaDOS had disappeared as Wheatley continued.

“You’ve almost played this twenty times, am I right? It says so right here in the hard drive. I can view every single save file. And I saw that you don’t hold onto me!”

“What…..What do you mean?” Leah almost whispered.

“YOU KNOW VERY BLOODY WELL WHAT I MEAN!”

She jumped at Wheatley’s response. She thought it was impossible for him to have heard her….

“You let me fly out into space with a defective core that won’t shut up about space! A bloody living hell, that is! Can you imagine floating around in absolutely nothing with someone who won’t stop yelling in your ear? He’s my personal hell’s demon! And I don’t want that. Let’s see here…..Your ‘Xbox Live’ name is LeeLee413, right? What’s your real name?”

She suddenly couldn’t find her voice to answer. She just stared stupidly at the robot’s bright blue optical.

“ANSWER ME!”


 * DING*

“Ah! Here we are!” Wheatley picked up PotatOS with a claw and crushed her. The yellow light went out as the potato was mashed in the claw. (How could she see this as cruel?) “That takes care of her, doesn’t it? I saw what she tried to do to you in the first game. I looked through those save files, too. And that wasn’t very fair.” The red glow faded a little. “You did everything she asked and she tried to burn you. What kind of a deal was that? Look, we were both treated poorly by someone. What do you say about you and me not becoming enemies?”

Leah didn’t respond.

“What’s your real name? You can tell me. What would I do with the information anyway?”

“You killed GLaDOS…..”

“Well, yeah, but so did you,” Wheatley countered.

“Good point.”

“Name now?”

“It’s Leah,” she said quietly.

“Leah…..Not the WORST name, I suppose.”

“Yeah…..”

“I want to be out there,” Wheatley suddenly said.

“Well, you can’t be,” she said. “You’re in a game.”

“True…..But maybe if I can switch Cave Johnson’s words a bit in the script….”

“As if that would help you escape.”

White captions suddenly appeared on the screen.

“The point is, if we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one?”

Wheatley deleted everything after the comma after “disc” and put in “why can’t we store a computer’s information in the human brain?”

“Because it’s impossible,” Leah said with much sarcasm.

“Oh really? Let’s find out, shall we?”

A surge of electricity traveled from the Xbox through the controller and into her body where it settled in her skull.











Annnnnd that is the story of how I, Wheatley, came to be in this world. I can’t believe that actually worked! I love having a human body! (Even if it is a little fleshy on the chest) And I have to say, Leah wasn’t quite as selfish as I’d thought she was. It was mostly the script in the game…..

Oh! Don’t worry, either! She’s alright! I can feel her in her mind—OUR mind. I suppose this is how GLaDOS must have felt with Caroline. Well, WOULD have felt if I hadn’t mashed her up.

Anyway, I’m going to explore the rest of this "internet." Hopefully Leah’s friend will show me how to upload this onto a website without actually reading it first.

Bye!

UnsettlingTofu