File:Lucky to be in love with my best friend..jpg

At one point in my life, I was a serial killer. I claimed eighteen victims in my spree around the New York City metropolitan area. My method was simple, arrange meetings with women from dating websites like EHarmony and under a false name, eventually lure them to my home or a secluded place, then hold them down and carefully dissect them. I love separating the organs from one another, removing the heart first so that there wasn't much struggling through the process. It was quite a joy, one that I would be continuing if it weren't for my meeting Stephanie Denatti.

It was supposed to be just another easy murder, the woman seemed desperate enough. Stephanie was quite a beauty I admit, stunning actually. Raven black hair, emerald green eyes, tall, thin but curvy, and a nice sized bust. I was wondering what she was doing on a dating website the second I saw her enter Luigi's, a high-end eatery I very much enjoyed.

She sat down and we spoke of nonsense for the first twenty minutes or so before our appetizers came. The entire time I was staring at her chest, her cleavage revealed by a very low cut, skin-tight blue and silver dress. When our appetizers arrived I found that she had quite an appetite for such a good looking girl, quickly scarfing down the majority of the dish. I didn't think anything of it. I was still taken aback by her beauty and, admittedly, fantasizing not only of having sex with her, but of dissecting her.

We finished our meal after another hour and a half or so. I had a nice porterhouse and she a filet mingon, bloody. I decided to play my hand and ask if she would like to come back to my place, noticing she was very much inebriated from the various wines we ordered. She agreed and I could feel my pants tighten, perhaps I would have sex with this one before the act. No I couldn't, I'd leave DNA. Unless I burned her after. It'd be a bit out of the ordinary, but I think I could do it. I opened the door for her and we entered a cab to leave towards my house.

When we got there things got hot quick. She was all over me and I was perfectly OK with it. She began to please me orally but then an idea popped into my head. I told her I was going to grab a condom, and I did, but I also picked up my butterfly dagger and hid it in my right fist before walking back into the bedroom to kill the very beautiful girl who sat waiting there.

I climbed over her, and pushed into her. While she was enjoying the feeling I opened my butterfly blade and dug it deep into her chest. She let out a blood-curdling scream, which just served to turn me on even more. I began repeatedly stabbing her, matching the stabs with my thrusts. I could feel her going limp under me.

Being quite satisfied I climbed off her. It was time to dissect the girl. A smile crossed my face, I wanted to do it again. But this was already daring enough, I didn't want to take any chances. Then I heard something that made a chill run down my spine... she began to laugh.

Not just a laugh, but a cackle. One that's made by a very old woman who found something so incredibly funny that they are straining their fading vocal cords. The woman began to sit up, her head hanging back as she rose, letting it fall forward when she was straight up. She had a wide smile painted on her face and her eyes were black; blacker than night itself. She opened her mouth and I stood there in shock. Her mouth began to widen, larger and larger, stretching far beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I could feel myself fall into the black abyss that soon surrounded me.

I'm not quite sure where I ended up, but I awoke sitting in nothing but black. I could hear voices around me everywhere, but I was too scared to call out to them. I attempted to stand up but found I could not. In fact, I realized I wasn't sitting at all, I was floating. Where the hell was I? I began to listen to the voices more and more, gathering certain sentences being repeated in various languages. "I'm sorry you're stuck here too" I finally heard an English voice call out somewhere to my left. I called back out to him but it seemed we were too far to hear each other, perhaps we floated away.

It took me a very long time to realize what happened, bumping into a few English speaking men along the way. One of them claimed to be from England circa 1696, I assume Stephanie was not human at all, I assume she was much like me, a killer, but not a human. Whatever she was, she was immortal. She was immortal and she trapped men here, in this black abyss. How? I'm not sure, I think she swallowed me. Every now and then however, a great light will fill the area, and we will see a new man fall to join us in this abyss. We all will, the thousands of us. Floating in this endless black abyss, undying, for eternity.

This is a warning, don't ask me how I got this out, it took a group effort and a good ten years (I'm assuming this but I lost track of time) waiting for the light to open when I was closest to it. Please, I know I am not a good man, I know I may deserve this, but you don't. Be wary of who you bring home, be wary of that beautiful girl who's just so interested in you. You never know if she is Stephanie Denatti. I don't even know if there are more like her. For all I know, there could be thousands.