Dr Sklee: Etiquette of a Madman -Part 1-Edit

"PHEWWE!" Sklee took off his coat and jumped into the shower. "It's certainly been a long day!" he laughed.

Just outside the room, paw-prints composed of bits of flesh and blood led to the door and stained the tile inside.

"Thirteen surgeries finished so far today," Sklee scrubbed the smell of rot and decay out of his bloodied fur.

He squirted some shampoo on his head and scrubbed it until it bubbled up.

Jenny, Sklee's parasitic pet, popped her head out of his sudsy hair and tapped his shoulder with her claw.

"Huh, something wrong?" he asked.

Jenny gave him a dirty look and proclaimed "BEEP!"

"What?" Sklee questioned. "W-well no... I haven't gone outside today, I-"

"BEEP!" Jenny barked back at him.

"N-no, I don't think I've been out for awhile. Jen-"


Sklee stepped out of the shower in a towel and trumped across the floor, nearly slipping on the gore outside.

"FUCKING FINE... I'll go check the calendar, if it gets you to shut up."

"Beep." Jenny rolled her eyes.

Sklee walked over to the calendar and squinted his pale eyes.

"Well it's been..." Sklee looked stunned. "Two weeks since my last outing!"

He ran to the bathroom scrubbing his hair down with the towel, forgetting once more of the carnage on the floor.

Sklee slipped across the bathroom floor and slammed into the cupboard below the sink.

"Mmmph... Maybe, I should clean this up first." he mumbled.

Sklee finally got everything cleaned up and headed out the door.

He casually walked into town, getting his usual awkward stares from the townsfolk.

"Psh, they act like they've never seen a doctor before."

One of the townsfolk chiis hunched over and cautiously looked around.

He shuffled his feet along the sidewalk trying to blend into the crowd.

This caught Sklee's eye. He stopped in his tracks and watched the suspicious fellow for a moment.

The chii shuffled against a building, he looked left and right, then slinked down the alley.

Sklee's ear twitched as he sped up pace and began to follow close behind.

The other chii looked around suspiciously, still walking slowly down the alley. Sklee crouched and began to silently follow behind him. The only thing that could be heard was very faint patting as his pawpads hit the concrete.

He almost made it to the end when Sklee lost his balance and tripped into a few trashcans. The chii that was being followed heard this. He quickly jumped back and stared down the alley.

"A-anyone there?!"

Sklee shifted himself quietly under the trash and held his breath.

"I guess it's no one." the alien continued down the alley and entered a small door on the side of the building.

"Wait, where's he going." Sklee dove over to the door the chii entered and stared into the window.

The chii was standing at an elevator, close to a flight of stairs.

He punched the button and got into the elevator. As the doors closed the number pad at the top flashed "11."

The chii disappeared from sight. Sklee bashed through the doors and began to climb up the stairs.

Floor one, floor two, floor three, floor four. Sklee's pace began to slow. Floor five, floor six, floor seven, floor eight. He huffed and puffed as he slowly clambered up.

Floor nine, and floor ten an- Sklee plopped over on the flight to the eleventh floor. He panted and sweat as he lay face down on the stairs.

"I *pant* should've waited *huff* for the elevator to come back."

Footsteps pattered on the floor above. Sklee dragged himself up, and peeked over the top step. The other strange chii was there, he ran down the hall ripped one of the doors open, ran in and slammed it shut.

"Where IS he going???" Sklee mumbled to himself.

He stood up and tiptoed over to the door. A bunch of chattering and mumbling went on in the room.

Sklee slowly stood up and peeked through the window on the door.

A large meeting seemed to be going on inside. A long table stretched across the room, several chiis on each side.

One walked to the head of the table and slammed down his paws. Sklee jumped, startled by the noise.

"SO! We all know what today's discussion is about! The Gentlemen's ball is coming up soon, and as we know there will be very, VERY important people there. We were promised a chance on stage in the convention centers auditorium. What we need to do is plan our speech of ways to improve this city." The announcer stated.

"A few of the ways we promised to share are; replenishing the parks trees and flowers, a new school building to help fix the overcrowded situation of our current one, street cleaners to keep the litter and trash off the roads, and getting rid of that screwy "Doctor Sklee" fellow that has been roaming around the streets. Apparently he is rumored to be the cause of mass murder around this city."

Sklee's body jolted back.

The head of the conference continues "Now don't forget everyone, the ball will be held in the cities convention center tomorrow morning, 10 a.m. Don't forget to be there."

Sklee took out the scalpel from his pocket and rolled up his sleeve.

"Convention Center. 10 a.m."

He carved the location in his wrist with the sharpened knife.

Sklee darted down the stairs and out the door. He began to stomp home and yelled to himself. "Me!? ME!? WHY WOULD THEY WANNA GET RID Of ME?!"'

Sklee eyes dilated and the veins inside them began to pulse.

"I AM THE GREATEST DOCTOR OF THIS CITY! I HAVE SAVED MANY MORE LIVES THEN I HAVE TAKEN! These people don't know what they are doing... Making such stupid plans to "improve" the city. Well, I'll make sure these plans do not reach important ears." Sklee's body twitched.

"They will be sorry they ever tampered with the WORK OF SKLEE! HEHEHAHAHAHHAHEHEHEHAHAHAH!"

Sklee fell over onto the sidewalk flailing and laughing. The chiis around him backed away then ran. Sklee put on quite a show.

He jumped up to his feet in the blink of an eye. "I MUST PREPARE," he yelled, then darted off to his lab.

Sklee shoved the door open, "It's time to start sewing!"

He grabbed some purple fabric from the back of his supply closet and rolled it out on one of the examination tables in his clinic.

"If I'm gonna crash a party I'll need to look good." he strapped his goggles on and began cutting the fabric.

"It should be stylish," Sklee grabbed the sewing needle and threaded it.

"It should be able to blend in." He began sewing pieces together.

"And it's gotta be... dangerous! HEHAHAH!" He laughed as he worked and worked away on this new project.

Seconds turned to minutes and minutes to hours.

Pins were stuck, stitches were stitched and now before Sklee lie his final results.

"It's finally done!" Sklee took off his goggles. His eyes were groggy and bloodshot. "My wondrous masterpiece! It's the most gorgeous thing I've ever sewn... If I, hehe DO say so myself."

On the table in front of him between scraps of metal, fabric, and needles lay a top hat, suit and cape.

The top hat had a set of his goggles strapped to the top, with a spiky tube heading from the goggle rim and into the hat.

The top of the hat had latches around the rim, as if it were hiding something inside.

The suit was black with a shiny purple undershirt, spikes ringed around the cufflings.

The cape was a shiny purple silk the glistened in the light.

"It's so beautiful! I can't wait to put it on and head to the 'party.'" He looked to the clock on the wall, "What time is it anyway, 9 a.m...


Sklee grabbed the undershirt and pulled it over his arms, then put the overcoat on top of it.

He reached for the cape on the table then swung it over his body. He held the top hat up and gently put it on his head.

Sklee looked into the mirror and a wide grin crossed his face. I look... Perfect!"

He turned around admiring himself, then jumped back suddenly "I NEED TO GET GOING!" He yelled.

He grabbed his doctors bag and headed out the door.

After fifteen minutes of walking he finally arrived. He smiled and pushed his hat back.

It'd be easy to get past security by sneaking in back, all the guards were in front.

Sklee snuck through one of the side alleys and ran to the back of the building and to the rear entrance.

He pushed on the door. "Heh, locked. That will be easy to fix." Sklee smiled and pushed a button on the side of his hat.

A rotating saw blade on a mechanical arm popped out of the top of his top hat.

"HAHAH! IT WORKS!" He kneeled down and slid the blade across the shackle on the padlock.

The metal dropped off the door and hit the ground with a loud clang. Sklee slowly opened the door and peeked inside.

Chiis everywhere were dressed in tophats, black suits and the girls in fancy dresses.

They giggled at each other and paced around in a very sophisticated manner.

"Man, this is FANCY!" Sklee shouted as he walked in and slammed the door behind him.

Everyone turned to look at him. They stared awkwardly and a few people gave him some dirty looks.

A goofy smile inched across his face as he slowly sidestepped away into another room.

"Damn, these people are uptight... and I mean tight, tighter then a virgin's stinkhole."

Sklee looked around, "I need to find a place off limits to these crowds."

He brushed himself off and began to trot along in the fanciest way he knew.

Another gentleman bumped into him and Sklee skid across the floor.

"Oh, quite sorry. Why your a funny fellow aren't you, hohoho." He laughed as he walked away.

Sklee grunted in anger as he pulled his face off the floor, but as he sat up something in front of him caught his eye.

A door with a sign hung across.

"Storage room and basement."

He rubbed his hands together and smiled evilly. "Just the place I was looking for!"

He looked left and right to make sure no one saw him, then slipped into the door.

He ran downstairs two flights then turned on the basement light.

"Well, well, well," Sklee looked around, "Not too shabby."

The room was fairly large, cleaning supplies were piled on shelves in the corner, as well as a tool wall and table on the other side of the room.

Sklee placed his doctors bag on the tool table.

"Hehe, all set up, now I better go find those goons who are reciting that speech."

Sklee snuck out of the door and closed it. Lucky for him, one of the "goons" was standing right outside.

He was passing out fliers to passersby.

"Hehehe, well that was easy." Sklee mumbled as he walked up to him. "Oh fliers... that is... intrriiiiiiguing"

Sklee's eyes rolled into his head.

"Well um... yeah." The nervous chii adjusted his glasses. "It's a... um... about improving our city, we'll be doing a speech on it later too... uh yeah."

Sklee tilted his head. "Changes eh? Well then, I actually had a few ideas."

"Oh um, really? That's nice..."

"I'd really just looooooove to discuss some with ya." Sklee tugged the man out of his chair.

"OH... OH MY! Uh sure, I suppose I mean couldn't hurt."

Sklee nodded wildly, "but uh, it is a bit ...personal.." Sklee stuck his tongue out of his mouth and blushed.

"Think we could chat in private? Like, over there... behind that bush?"

"Bush, that's a bit... strange but, ok"

"Hehehhe snort." Sklee giggled, and dove behind the potted plant, far away from the massive crowds. The chii followed short behind.

"So uh, what is it you wanted to discuss?"

Sklee laughed "Oh well you know the basis of-" Sklee grabbed the chii's head and slammed it into the floor, knocking him unconscious.

Sklee peeked out of the bush to make sure no one heard. Everyone was bustling about as if nothing happened.

He pushed the unconscious chii into the bush. Sklee stood up and began to push the pot across the room.

"JUST THOUGHT IT'D LOOK BETTER OVER HERE!!" He finally pushed it over to the basement door.

He opened it up and quickly ripped the body from the bush and pushed it into the room before anyone caught vision of him.

The groggy chii slowly opened his eyes. Everything was blurry for a moment, but cleared up after a bit of time.

"What... What's going on." He was looking up at the ceiling. A light shone down on him.

He tried to move, but couldn't. He was tied to an old table in the convention center basement.

Sklee poked his head in front of him.

"Oh look who's awake!" Sklee smiled and tipped his hat. "Pleased to meet you! Name's Sklee, or as you call me, 'the crazy doctor' that we must rid this city of,"

Sklee grit his teeth as he pointed to the pamphlet the chii was handing out earlier. "Says it right. HERE!"

Sklee crumpled the paper into a ball and shoved it down the chii's throat. He gagged and choked as the rough paper scraped his soft throat.

"HACK Oh-oh I'm sorry! Can't we work this out?!" Tears streamed down his face.

"TOO LATE!" Sklee punched him in the face. "Sorry won't cut it, do you KNOW how many LIVES YOU'D BE PUTTING IN DANGER IF YOU WERE RID OF ME?!"

Sklee grabbed the scalpel from his bag and waved it in front of the chii.

"Please... don't... don't kill me...I- never wanted to be part of this... I SWEAR!"

"Heheheh." Sklee laughed. "Of course not." Sklee laughed as he grabbed the chii's foot and jerked it forward. "No one ever 'means' anything once a plan has backfired."

Sklee twisted his leg in a swift motion. Snaps and cracks echoed in the room.


"It's too late for that now, the damage is done." Sklee twisted the other leg till it snapped. "Course... if you really wanna live I can make a small... exception"

Sweat and tears dripped down the chii's face. "YES! PLEASE! I WANNA LIVE!"


"Work?" the chii muttered softly "What do you me- ARG!"

Sklee had begun cutting around the skin and flesh right above his knee.

"What the? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

Sklee has made a complete circle around the top of his knee, from front to back. Sklee then began to slowly pull the skin off the muscle.

The chii looked on in horror as his skin was violently tugged off like a sock. Sklee lifted his other leg then began to cut around the skin above the chii's other leg, then pulled it off as well.

Sklee laughed, "THESE ARE NEAT!" Sklee grabbed the leg skin and slipped his foot inside like a sock. "Look! I'm so in style now!"

Sklee bounced to his bag once more. He looked back at this victim, eyes nearly rolled all the way back in his head and a huge grin across his face.

"TA DAH!" Sklee pulled a hacksaw out of his bag and waved it in the air. "IT'S FLESH RIPPING TIME!"

He dove onto the tabletop above the chii and landed with a splat in the blood.

He held the saw up to the exposed flesh.

"Wait, what?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" The chii yelled.

Sklee began to saw away at the muscle.

"Ffff... FAH!!!"

Sklee looked over to the screaming chii and rolled his eyes and smiled. "Oh, you!" he laughed and began to saw harder.

It got deeper and deeper, blood began spraying from the incision. Finally the saw hit bone. Sklee began sawing harder and harder.

It fell, the leg fell to the floor. Sklee kicked it to the side.

"NEXT ONE!!!" The doctor yelled as he sawed away at the other leg.

As of now, the screaming toned down and the chii just began to cry. Sklee finally had both legs off.

He grabbed his needle and thread from his bag and began sewing the skin at the bottom of the legs together.

"Needle in, needle in, needle out." Sklee sang in unison to the needle popping in and out of flesh. "THERE!"

The doctor motioned towards the chiis bottom-half. There were no legs, just stubs where they used to be.

The madman jumped to the victim once more, this time sinking his knife right above the chiis elbow, he circled the knife just as he did with the legs. He pulled the skin off slowly once more, then ran to the victim's other arm. After the arms were skinned he hacked through the bone and tissue with the saw, then sewed the wounds shut.

The chii had long passed out from all the blood loss.

"Aww, poor sleepy baby..." Sklee slapped the chii across the face.

"WHAT AH!" it yelled.

Sklee grabbed a blood transfusion pack from the side pocket of his bag and attached it to the chii.

He squeezed the pack draining it into the patients veins.

"You're all set and ready for the last part. HEHAHAH!" Sklee chuckled.

"It'll be easier now that you can't walk." Sklee cut the ropes off the chii, then grabbed him and threw him to the floor.

"Final step, make sure you're too DUMB to do anything about the speech."

Sklee grabbed the chii and sat behind him with the hacksaw.


"Oh yesh your brain."

Sklee brought the saw down onto the chii's head, then began to saw away through the tissue and bone.

Blood began to drizzle down the chii's face and into his mouth and eyes. It mixed with the tears and spit.

Sklee stuck his finger in the mixture and licked it up.

The saw finally broke through the bone.

"Oh yessssssss... YESSSSS!" Sklee grabbed the slit the saw made in the skull and ripped it open.

His eyes sparkled as he drooled, "What a beautiful specimen!"

Sklee grabbed his scalpel, then with a swift motion, JABBED it into his victim's brain.

"OW GOSH I-urp...dur..." The chii quit talking as his eyes rolled completely into his head.

Sklee cut out the area of the brain he jabbed and flicked it away like a booger.

"And... now, just sew this up." Sklee slammed the skull shut once more, "Good thing they kept tools here"

Sklee grabbed a power-drill and some screws, then screwed the broken parts of the skull back together.

He sewed the head wound shut, and bandaged the head and "limbs".

Sklee then set down the chii on all four of nubs where the limbs used to be.

It tried to walk on the nubs, like some demented dog. IT managed to turn around and look at him.

He smiled evilly as he reached down to pet it. "Why hello there, my new pet. Might I say... welcome' to the world. Hehehhe FWAHAHA!"

Sklee cleaned himself off and tied a rope to his new pet's neck, then headed back to the convention hall.

"Time to get the next victim," Sklee snickered.

-To be continued-

Dr. Sklee: Etiquette of a Madman -Part 2-

Send feedback to