File:Mario's Mansion.jpg

It was a normal day. I had to go to work, my nephews were in school, and my dad was still in his grave. While I was printing some papers, I came across something that I couldn't understand. On one paper that I printed it had a website URL, and a code. SORAIM. I went to the website and one thing popped up. The words ENTER CODE. I entered SORAIM and it took me to an ebay like website with only one thing for sale. A Wii game called "MARIO'S MANSION". The price was $0.00. I never pass up an offer so I bought it, waited a couple days, and found it in the mail.

Excited,I tore open the box and was angry to see a scratched up, and somewhat fractured disc that said Mario's mansion. Hoping that it would work I started my Wii, and played the game. That was a mistake. The title screen started up with Mario screaming an ear piercing scream and falling over dead. I muted the TV and restarted the game. Instead of the scream, this time it opened to a cutscene of a dark forest with Mario and Luigi running. I don't know what they were running from, all that I know is that they ran into an old, broken down, mansion.

As soon as The cutscene ended, I started playing as Mario. The controls barely worked and the camera was fixated on him and Luigi just standing in the room paralyzed. Eventually the camera moved to show a pitch black room which contents could only be seen when lightning would strike. As a bolt of lightning struck, I saw daisy, peach, the toads, Wario, and Waluigi all hanging from ropes in the ceiling, and Bowser and his koopalings laying underneath them covered in blood. Know I understood, they were paralyzed with fear, Mario fell over and glitched through the ground.

As this happened Luigi's head turned, deformed, and twisted in ways that I can't even bring myself to describe. I turned the game off. I took the game out, went outside, and smashed the fucking thing into pieces. If ever someone else should make my mistake. May god have mercy on your soul.