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Who doesn't love a good Valve game every once in a while? I surely don't! Well, as long as the games aren't Portal or Portal 2. "Why?" you may be asking yourselves. If you are sure you want to know, keep reading. If not, well, I don't blame you. I may ruin your portaling experiences.

It started on a warm day in July of 2012. I had just got up to notice that Portal 2 was 87% off on steam. I loved Portal 1, so I woke my mom up to ask her if I could buy it. At first she said no, which kind of disappointed me, so I left. She must have seen me with my head down, because I heard her call, "Logan! Come here for a second!"

I went back in and she said, "Fine you can buy your game so long you wait until the night to download it because you know Ethan hates the lag." Ethan was my brother. He's always been four years older than me and he played a lot of RuneScape. So I thanked my mom and left the room to let her rest while it was still quiet. When my dad got home from work it was usually louder because he loved having our TV on loud. So I bought Portal 2 for around $5 rather than $20 and waited until the night to download it on my netbook, which I'm still actually writing this on now. When I woke up, I saw it was completely downloaded and launched it right away.

I was really happy! Until I tried playing it, that is. When I hit play it took about five minutes to load but the screen was all black because my graphics card wasn't strong enough. Then I remembered that my brother could play Grand Theft Auto on his computer so I though that if I downloaded Portal 2 on his laptop, then I should be able to play! That night I hit download on his computer and noticed the computer lagged for a second but returned to normal. I got a weird feeling when it lagged because his computer never lagged.I didn't think to much of it at the time, though.

I had a weird dream about being Chell that night and in it I entered a room filled with tanks of neurotoxin and found Doug Rattman in one of them. It was weird, so I used my portal gun to transport Doug away from the neurotoxin only to find that it wasn't Rattman and it was my brother! He said, "Stay off my computer! Stay away from my room! Stay away from me!" I immediately woke up after that because it scared me really badly. And after that dream I had to go check on him.

When I went in his room I saw him on his computer playing Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. We had it on the Playstation 2 but he liked his computer much better, plus the Playstation was downstairs and it was 4 a.m. What he said shocked me:

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STAY OUT!" This came to a shock to me because he had only said that in my dream! Plus you couldn't find anyone nicer than him. Of course, unless my cousin was over, but that's not the point. He has never yelled! It's like his brain was actually changed from that dream.

His yelling woke my parents up, and later they took him to the doctors to find out what happened and why he was so angry. He just needed sleep because he apparently had something that made him angry when he hadn't had slept for a while. When he woke up he apologized to me because he didn't mean what he said. He was just in a bad mood because he needed sleep. He said to make it up to me I could play the laptop so I did.

I was really excited to finally play but GlaDos said some weird things after I booted up. Instead of the announcer talking like it did on my laptop it was GlaDos. She said, "I'm sorry but you need a companion cube to start and obviously, you were to stupid to pick one up on your way. Must get it from your parents."

I found this highly offensive because I had never heard any character ever be so rude to the main character! Not even the enemy. I just blew it off though and began searching for a companion cube and finally I found one. "It's about time! It took you 20 minutes to find that stupid thing," GlaDos said. I then checked my clock and noticed that she wasn't kidding. It actually had been 20 minutes! How did she know I thought? But again I blew it off like the game was programmed to time you. Then I saw Wheatley! I knew that at the end I had to fight him because my friend who has been asked to be kept anonymous told me you fight the guy with the blue ring, which Wheatley had exactly that.

I loved Wheatley, though, because every time I correctly passed a test he praised me and said things like "Excellent work NameNoMatter! You're getting better every time!" though he used my Steam username a lot and this kinda creeped me out because he never says even Chell's name, but I was too happy from the praise to notice.

On the 10th test when Wheatley praised me GlaDos said, "Oh come on Wheatley! You don't even like her! You know that we are just trying to kill her and restart testing!"

After she said that, she sent down a hook that you see when Wheatley takes you into GlaDos's chamber in the game. She sends you down the trash chute where you recieve the dual Portal Gun. She made the hook grab Wheatley and spike him multiple times all while Wheatley is screaming like a banshee. All that was left of poor Wheatley were a few cogs and his blue eye lens. I was crying by then because Wheatley had to die such a terrible death, even though he was just a robot in a game.

The only reason I cried though, was because of what GlaDos said. After Wheatley was brutally spiked by the hook GlaDos said, "Now that that idiot is gone, all that's left is you to take care of! And after that, testing can go on like it used to! Wheatley-free and Chell-free." After that I started playing as normal, test after test, hour after hour. Until test number 60 came.

It was a flat room that had dead rotting corpses of scientists on them. "Here is the trash room where we store all the 'unconscious' scientists. Though I should say a few bodies were important scientists." And when GlaDos said that I saw two bodies that I wish I never had. I saw the bodies of Caroline and Cave Johnson. And they were bleeding from the many gaping holes in their bodies. I remembered the death of Wheatley and realized that they must have been killed the same way while GlaDos had been created.

I heard the sound of crying and realized that Chell was the one making the sound. Then GlaDos had to 'comfort' her by saying, "What?! They were only your parents! It's not like you never saw them! Oh wait, you never did. What a shame! I wish I knew that before so I could laugh in your face about it! Oh wait I already did! How about you join them?"

And immediately after that, neurotoxin came out of every wall and poisoned Chell. After that she wasn't heard of. I then played the normal campaign though this time, as a man who replied to Wheatley and Glados. As for me? My friends all said I was crazy and after they said that I believed them, I mean how would anyone experience that? I mean the developers would have caught that, right? Or would they have?