Okay, now that I have recovered myself from the years of events that have happened, I think it's time for my story to be told. It's not for the faint-hearted, though. Reader beware.

The Pasta

Flashback to August 27, 2003. I had just turned 20, and I was really happy, because that meant I could finally start a serious Engineering and Programming semester at the fantastically knowledgable Harvard University, one of the most respected universities in the United States. It took me weeks to apply, but I did. I started as an intern (and yes, I've read other pastas like Squidward's Suicide and Happy Appy, which means starting as an intern is just fucking cliche.) However, this has a twist in it, in the fact that these events were long BEFORE the problems started. I slowly rose through the ranks, and less than 15 weeks later, I ended up in the Junior Programmer rank. Everybody was pretty amazed at the speed of my work, and I politely accepted it.

However, the farther up my ranks went, the harder and slower it seemed to be. My reputation and pressure cracked a little, but I still managed to rise up to the senior engineer rank before I politely asked for a work break. The superintendent gently agreed with me, saying that I had been working really hard since I went into Harvard at the beginning. I asked for his preference on how long I should be away without ticking anyone off including him, and he said about 2 weeks. I thanked him, and I went back to my house. Halfway through the break, I started to feel much better. Less headaches, better strength, and no more weakness. I thought I would get back to working on my brainchild robot that I had been working on since I first enrolled in Harvard back in 2003. Right now, the robot was actually able to do a multitude of actions, and I think the biggest revolution was that he could mimic voices and run up to speeds of 30 kilometers an hour when fully charged up. I went to work on something that would help with the voices, and that was an external USB port for a USB Stick. This would be for vocal recognition memory.

I finished it quickly, probably within 3 days, and I started thinking about some more actions the robot could physically and mentally do. At this point I was back in Harvard, doing projects for the teachers, the other engineers and programmers, what have you. So, I didn't really have too much time for the robot. I forgot about him eventually, and I continued to work. I steadily rose yet further, becoming lead programmer and eventually, lead engineer. I continued to work at Harvard for 6 more years until I became legible to build and program things on my own. Finally, on March 1, 2010, I stepped down from my position, and everybody kindly applauded me for my 8 years of work.

But there was a reason I stepped down.

Around Mid-2008, I FINALLY remembered that I had that robot just sitting in my workshop. Since I was the lead engineer, I had a little more time than the other engineers. I entered my home workshop for the first time in almost 3 years, and I could not BELIEVE the amount of dust in that fricking workshop. It was like an old library. I cleared every bit out of the way, and I eventually cleaned up the workshop in general. I looked around. I could not find the robot anywhere. I searched high and low for it, but nothing. Suddenly, I heard a loud click, and I jumped frantically. There, beneath my feet layed the old bot. I cleaned the dust off of it. The amount of rust on this thing was to the point of ridicule. It was bright orange, and the motherboards and everything else was just caked with dirt. It took me almost 3 months to clean. At this point I remembered everything. I sat down, alone for a while, thinking about the possibilities.

I eventually decided the next thing the robot should be able to do was climb walls and ladders. I made sure that everything was up to date, and I began. It only took me 2 weeks to complete the ability. The rest of the upgrades were pretty typical. I held my breath as I powered the bot up. It took me four tries, but the thing finally clinked and cluttered to life. I had a controller for it, and I tested all the abilities. They all worked pretty well, including the climbing, which looked awesome. The robot also climbed really fast too, about half its running speed. I went to bed that night, not knowing that something was about to happen in the following days.

I woke up at 2:50 in the morning to the sound of squeaking and clicking. It took me a couple of minutes to muster up the courage to go check it out, and when I did, there was nothing out of the ordinary other than that the robot was in a different place than normal, about 6 feet to be exact. I thought nothing of it, really, so I continued with my day from that time and went to bed again. This time, the story was different.

I woke, again, this time to the sound of a voice and screeching. And this time, I felt incredibly sick and weakened. Then, I just... blacked out. When I regained consciousness, I managed to go out of the living room, and what I saw next sent a chill up my spine.

MY robot was walking out on the carpet, its back turned towards me, muttering to itself. I quietly tried to flee outside, but the robot turned toward me and rushed so quickly up to me that I barely knew, and before I knew it, he uttered only one thing in a squeaky, grindy voice:


The last thing I felt before I blacked out for a second time was excruciating pain in my abdominal region. I remember finally waking up some time later in a hospital, with my face and abs covered in gauze bandages and casts. I tried to sit up, and a wave of pain struck me. I almost blacked out for a third time. Then, I heard voices in the room next to me. From what I can remember, two people came in. They sat down next to me, and gently removed the cast covering my eyes, nose, and mouth. My face stung like hell, but I managed to bear it, and surprisingly, I could TALK. I asked them in the now scratchy voice I had, "What happened? Where am I??"

Snap Flash

They responded back gently. The first, a woman, said, "You were found near-dead in your garage, with a giant hole going through your chest and straight out your back. No organs or bones were damaged, either. You're lucky to be alive." The 2nd person, a man, said, "When you were found, you were instantly treated and carried to Michigan State Hospital. You were instantly admitted." However, I could ask no more questions than that, because they just walked out of the room. 7 Months later, and I walked out of that hospital and drove back to my house. Everything was intact and well besides the living room (which was still a mess) and the garage was fine too, except for one thing.

The Robot was missing.

Author's Notes

Alright, so this is the first pasta that I've done that involves a robot. It... actually worked out pretty well in my preference. Let's see people's opinions about this one. Template:Sort