Hello, and welcome to our laboratory! We do experiments and, if they're a success, supply them out to places like freak shows and circuses. I'm sure you've seen some. The man with legs like a spider's? He was one of ours, as were the siamese triplets.
You'll be staying in Room 01. We just lost a patient from there. Died in surgery. It was a shame. She was part of a pioneering treatment. Electro-shock therapy. We inserted three bolts into her brain and one in her spine. She died of the blood loss. We don't have much blood for transfusions, you see.
I just need to imprint this on your arm. It's a little number so we know which room you're in. Stay still.
Perfect! Stop whining about the pain. It'll go eventually.
Want to come and meet some of the other patients? Come with me, then!
First up, we have the blonde twins. They're going into theatre shortly. We're doing one of our routine procedures, where we remove one side of the left twin and one of the right before stitching them back together.
They'll look so wonderful! I can't wait to see them when they're finished. Maybe I'll be busy with you though, and will have to wait. Fingers crossed your operation is a simple one. Just a quick in, out, take a limb or two, replace them. Our animal donors are wonderful.
Next up, we have the giants. To make them this length, we put them on a stretching rack. They were under anaesthesia, of course. We doctors aren't the monsters here! YOU are! Hahahaha!
Let's just say they've grown a couple of feet. They can't walk properly, but that doesn't matter. When they go to the circus, they'll just be checking tickets and welcoming the people in. Some of our other successes have gone on to do that.
Say "hello" to Nurse Megpoid! She'll be taking the twins away to perform their operation. As you're not authorized personnel, you're not allowed into the theatre. Well, not until your surgery.
I bet you're wondering what we did to the nurse. Well, she had a pioneer surgery, where we grafted some alligator skin onto her back. It was a success, and she was so pleased with the result that she decided to work for us! I bet you'll want to do that when we're done with you, hmmm?
I bet you're wondering who's up next? Well, say hello to Pochi! We switched his humanoid brain with that of a wild dog, and now he eats whatever you feed him! Just watch your fingers! I nearly lost one the other day when I was petting him. The circuses are going to buy him up soon, the same one we're selling the giants to.
We only sell to circuses with good reputations, you know! Dark Woods Circus is one of the best. It's not very well known, though, so I expect you haven't been there. Most of our 'lab rats' haven't.
Finally, I have to show you this work. It's my favourite. The patient you're about to see is a wonderful masterpiece. He's one of our oldest clients, aged around eighteen. He showed a love for samurai swords, so we replaced his arms with them! He's going to a circus soon, in another country. Dark Woods Circus prefers people with animal limbs.
I bet you're wondering what we'll do to you, hmm? Well, it's a regular op. We'll be removing your legs and replacing them with that of a deer's. I first need to take you back to your room. Watch out for Pochi, though! You might want to keep all of your fingers. The Dark Woods Circus only likes 'lab rats' that are fully intact, so to speak.
We're at your room now. I'm just going to give you this shot, to make you fit and healthy for your surgery. Now, can you feel yourself slip away?
Good, good. The surgery can now begin.